“& if I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?”
Welcome back beauties!
Today we are going to talk about my journey with self-love & acceptance!
It’s going to be a long post so grab a snack 😉
I’ve struggled in this department as many other people have too. It’s a touchy subject but I feel its necessary to speak upon, I want whoever else is struggling with this to know that they are N O T alone!
I believe the hardest time period in my life was between the ages 21-22. I was lost.. I was super unhealthy, partying 4-5 days a week, barely passing my college courses. My life was a total disaster.
I had no ambition, no motivation, no goals, nothing. Back then I was “happy” with how my life was going unbeknownst to the fact of how destructive & detrimental I was being to myself.
My thought process was, “Hey I’m young, gotta live it up. Fuck the world!”
I didn’t care about hurting people, didn’t care about how other people viewed me, didn’t care about anything but “having fun.”
Slowly but surely I began to hate who I had become, hate the life I was living, hate myself completely..
I was very much aware of my wrong-doings & for a long time did absolutely nothing to correct them.
When you’re making poor choices, choices that go against what in your heart you know is right you will never know self-love.
You know that quote that says,“You are who you surround yourself with”?
Well its fucking true.
The people who I associated myself with were absolutely no good. They were toxic & I fed into that toxicity. They too lacked ambition, motivation, & any desire to move forward in life.
These “friends” were only “good” for one thing & one thing only, to enable my bad decision making.
I’m not sure if it was my desire to fit in or my lack of self-love that I had for myself or even both that caused my life to go in a downward spiral.
It took me a long time to finally realize that I had to make a change.
I did not want to continue self-destructing, I did not want to continue wandering through life with no sense of purpose.
I completely separated myself from the group of people I was associating with, there was no other option. It was either continue the ruthless idgaf lifestyle that would lead me to nowhere or put a stop to it & get on the path to bettering my life.
This is when I began to understand that you must surround yourself with people you want to be like. You have to surround yourself with people who have momentum, goals & aspirations.
Surround yourself with trash & trash is what you’ll ultimately become.
The fact that I let go of all the toxicity & bad vibrations that surrounded me was a big accomplishment all in itself.
Even with the tremendous progress I had been making something was still plaguing me, haunting me even..
My past haunted me because I knew that I knew better.
I felt unworthy; unworthy of love, unworthy of good friendships, unworthy of good things in general.
I convinced myself that I was still a bad person regardless of changing my life around. When something good would happen in my life I wouldn’t get too excited because I was just awaiting for the next fucked up thing to follow after. I felt like I would be punished for the rest of my life because of the wrong choices I had made.
One day I decided enough is enough!
I said to myself that I will no longer allow my past to dictate my present nor my future. I declared that MY PAST DOES NOT DEFINE ME! Who I was before certainly wasn’t even remotely close to who I was becoming.
I shouted out to myself, “You ARE worthy of love, you ARE worthy of good friendships, you ARE worthy of all the good things that exist in the world!”
This was the moment when self-love came finally along for me.
The road wasn’t easy. I’m not going to lie I still sometimes struggle with loving & accepting myself. It is a work in progress still & probably always will be.
The journey of self-love & acceptance is never ending.
Fast forward almost 5 years later, I am much more aware of the consequences that are attached to each decision I make. I try my best to live every day with a pure heart & pure intentions. I acknowledge that I am worthy of all the amazing things life has to offer.
The old me is dead & gone. I shed the old person I used to be & blossomed into the amazing, fearless, strong, bad ass woman that I am today!
I am grateful for everything I went through, it led me to finding the self-love that I didn’t even know I so desperately needed.
We are all on this journey together.
Loving yourself is so necessary in living a complete, happy, & whole life.
You have to nourish to flourish. Take care of yourself, make a commitment to begin love yourself! Then watch how God & the Universe blesses you babes.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I’m appreciative of every one of you!
Stay tuned for my next post.
As always sending love & good vibrations xo